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William in Texas (CSA)

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By William in Texas
August 5, 2008



Abused After Meetings and Conventions in Texas

When I was a kid around the age of 7-14 yrs. old I had several experiences that changed my innocent world around me. After meetings in Texas, there was this professing kid who was older, who had a really neat clubhouse in his garage. On first Sunday after we ate lunch, he would always invite me to play in his clubhouse, it was away from the parents and most of them were too involved in their conversations about the workers, to even know what was happening to their innocent children. This professing guy would strip completely naked inside the clubhouse and explain that it was okay because he had seen some workers doing it. He wanted me to learn how to masturbate and he was going to teach me the right way to do masturbation. That was around 1975-1976 and I did not stick around this guy very long.

My second encounter with real sexual abuse, happened after a meeting on a ranch in New Mexico. My own 14 yr. old male cowboy cousin wanted to play doctor in the barnyard. His father and my father rode off on horses to check the cattle and left us both there by ourselves for 2 hrs. or longer. No one else was around, so I could not cry out for help! I was around 7-8 yrs. old at the time of the incident. He asked me if I needed to urinate and I thought he was just trying to help me out? He told me to pull my pants down to my knees and to not turn around or look at him. He kept saying he needed to check something and see if I was alright? He placed his finger in my rectum and it was painful! After a few minutes, he told me to be still and not move, that he needed to continue checking me for something? He was acting like a doctor giving someone a check up or exam.

The next thing I experienced was sheer pain! He placed his private part inside my rectum forcefully and would not stop! I cried and told him to please stop! He just kept laughing at me and told me I was just a sissy and I was just acting like his little girl. I was scared and did not know what to do? I could not yell for help, nobody would hear me! he finally stopped his abuse after around 20 minutes. I experienced bleeding and I tried to hide this from my dad. Because back than you get a spanking with a leather strap or a hard belt for lying to people. The sad thing is, My dad did not believe me when I told him later on. My cousin was a good professing kid and he would never do anything wrong ever!

My 3rd incident with sexual abuse was from another 14-15 yr. old male cousin in Texas. He was really the sickest one! I had just experienced this anal abuse from my cousin in New Mexico, I guess this other cousin had found out about it and decide he was going to try and get me too.

After convention and Sunday meetings during 1978-1984. My Texas cousin would try to get me to go out to our barn, where we stored our hay. He was always talking about having oral sex with horses and sheep. It was very disturbing information for me at that time. He told me that I needed to learn how to masturbate the right way! He was going to make me learn how to do this and he continued say I was at the right age to start doing masturbation. He told me it was normal for guys to do it together.

He would always try to masturbate in front of me and want me to touch his private parts, which I refused to do so many times before. One summer in 1984, I was staying and working for his parents on a farm. They told me to sleep in his bed. My cousin kept smiling at me and told me he would always protect me and not worry about anything to his dad. That was a lie! One night he started masturbating right in front of me and told me I needed to engage in oral sex with him, I refused to do so, after I fell asleep, I woke up to him giving me oral sex. I was so upset and scared I told my uncle I needed to go home and I ended up sleeping in another room that same night.

A few months later, I spent the night with a 14 yr. old professing friend of mine and I did not know he was bi-sexual. We had been good friends for several years. I told him one night what had happened to me with both of my cousins and I could not speak to my parents about these issues. He seemed to be very understanding and to really care about my hurt and pain I was going through. He suggested we play truth or dare and spin a bottle that night to help make the bad feelings go away.

We were sleeping outdoors and both of his parents were not around. I did not see anything wrong with the idea. Until he suggested we should get naked. He kept talking about how hard it was to get a girlfriend and he was not having any luck finding one. My friend started masturbating right in front of me and told me that if I wanted him to do it, he could give me oral sex? I told him that it was not a good idea and it was wrong. He acted like he was mad at me, so I tried to do to sleep. He woke me up and was giving me oral sex in the middle of my sleep, I thought I was dreaming about some female doing this?

I was scared at first and for some reason I allowed him to continue. He asked me if I wanted to do the same thing to him and at first I told him no! From all the abuse I had experienced I began to think it was ok. I told him I would do it to him just this one time. It was the most guilty feeling you can ever have inside your heart! After we had oral sex with each other I felt so disgusting and dirty! He was professing and should have known better! I was mad at myself for even allowing everything to happen like it did.

This story is very graphic! But I had to express my thoughts to break these spiritual chains of bondage that has been affecting me over the past 25-30 yrs. I was hoping by just sharing this story it would help me heal and maybe someone else would step forward with their story as well? I feel alot better since I shared this story with everyone. I wish for my real name to remain private, this is alias name to protect my own identity.

Just because people are professing does not mean that they do not have the sexual urges that are sometimes very uncontrollable. I believe that a lot of teenage girls or ladies in the meetings are trying so hard to reframe from engaging in sexual immorality, that is why they end up getting into a sexual situation or abuse with their boyfriend or a worker for instance.

Also, I have noticed a lot of parents neglect their children and teenagers at convention time, because they are too concerned about talking to all the workers and their friends between meetings! If the parents would get concerned about their kids and stop gossiping and discussing everyone elses problems, then most of these abuse cases would be prevented or stopped before they even happen to anyone!

William in Texas