Fighting the fears that so often hit us exes who have family still in
meetings, and knowing what to do in our relationship with them, is sometimes
quite overwhelming.  It is a struggle that is so "individual" because rarely
would there be two cases exactly alike.

We've heard from many people who have left meetings,  after learning of the
deception, and finding out that they will not go to hell by disobeying the
workers.  Sometimes the older folk have children still caught in the
bondage.  This is our case, and you can imagine the guilt that comes when
you realize you are the cause of their being there.

So how do we deal with these feelings of guilt? Some think they must share
the knowledge of the deceit and bondage of the 2x2 system.  Some go further
to share the really Good News of freedom in Christ by trusting Him and not
putting trust in a system or man.  Some prefer to remain quiet.

_____ you stated:  “So I constantly feel guilty on the disappointment I
cause her of not going to meetings anymore.”

Her disappointment could be rooted in the thinking that you are "lost," or
it could be a feeling of separation.  Regardless of what might be causing
her disappointment, the fact is that it is her problem.

The guilt you feel, in my opinion, is a distortion of Satan.  God sets us
free, but Satan wants to keep us in bondage.  You are not responsible for
your Mom's mental state.  Her disappointment is something with which she
must deal.

As you grow in faith and understanding of the true Gospel, you can share
that with her and perhaps this will lessen her fears for your soul.  The
loneliness that is caused by not being in meetings, conventions, etc. with
her will take an effort on your part to find other times of getting
together, if you live close by, or communication in other ways if you are at
a distance.  Showing you love her and care for her can help relieve her
fears and disappointment.

While you can be the light that helps your Mom, you are not the cause of
the darkness that surrounds her, IMO.

I would encourage you to trust in God, and love your Mom.  You may be the
only avenue of freedom she will ever have.

With love and prayers,  Joan  Daniel    25 Jan 00

I was married for 16 years in the truth and hardly knew my wife, the pressure and standard that needed to be kept up drew us apart. In fact, we were never close, because each time the workers would come in our house, they would talk privately to my wife telling her that she needed to keep the standard because there were many things I did not understand etc...(she never told me except when we left.) Yes ______ I always kept an independent and critical mind like you and that displeased the workers a lot. I must tell you that since we have left, we literally fell in love and are in a honey moon state since a year and going strong, our relationship with our children has changed from one of keep-up-the-standards approach to one of real love and mutual comprehension and respect. January 3, 2000 Francois Masson

I was in a divided home. My husband never professed and always thought it was a bunch of bunk! My being in the so-called Truth drove us apart to such an extent that not much was left of our marriage when I finally left the 2x2s. We had nothing in common. He had his friends and I had mine. I went to meeting three times a week and he buried himself in sports.

My family was most affected by the parent in the "Truth" (NEGATIVELY). I was brought, against my will, to meeting until I was a teenager, I never professed. Even at a young age, something did not seem right with the way of the 2x2s.

They just thought that the 2x2s were a bit legalistic. It was not until I shared with them the info on Irvine etc....that they understood what it was all about because my parents had always been so SECRETIVE about their SECT.

Coming from a divided home we were never really accepted as being children of the friends. On the other hand we were not allowed to take part in what the workers considered to be worldly pleasure, and consequently, like most children from divided homes we tended to get the worst of both worlds.

My husband didn't know very much about meeting or anything. I never told him that I gave a testimony at every meeting, stuff like that. He could see the legalism and figured lots of it was a sham but couldn't really put things together. He always figured that there were leaders even when I told him there were not.

I had always witnessed a division in professing families; not just among those that were divorced, or not in agreement regarding professing convictions. I had seen first hand that husbands and wives and children were always in a pitched battle over issues raised by the workers. I know of hearty professing husbands and wives who actually despised each other, I know of professing parents who disapprove oftheir professing children. I have witnessed professing wives who talk against their professing or unprofessing husbands, never satisfied with their spouses. It caused me a great deal of anguish before I got married because I was afraid of having a miserable 2x2 marriage. Fortunately, such a problem did not arise in our marriage. I can't pretend to know why professing people have so much marital trouble but I wonder if some of it is due to their lack of understanding of grace and the unmerited favor of God. Now that I have found out more about the sexual molestation of children within the 2x2s, I wonder if some of the problems have arisen from immature and perverted sexual attitudes which occur in some families.

We knew that when we left the 2x2s and openly announced that we were Christians and attended a Christian Church that our families would reject us. However, we knew that our parents and siblings were fair people and that they would still speak to us and treat us fairly....and they have.