July 11, 1999

When you read wonderful, liberating books like "The Grace Awakening" and "In
the Grip of Grace", don't you yearn to have the 2x2 people have the
opportunity to learn about Grace?!!!!! To be liberated!!?? To be REALLY
liberated from hypocrisy!! To be REAL!!! The workers, proponents of working
your way to heaven, truly have no idea just HOW MUCH hypocrisy abounds in
their "way"! 2x2 people can't be REAL!!! They are in bondage but they want to
be free so they hide and become clandestine as they quietly slip to pull the
TV out of the closet, or remove the little slats to a benign cabinet that has
barred the hidden TV. Or drive to another town to go to a movie. Or wear
pants, nervously looking around. Or put on colored fingernail polish on
Monday and Tuesday, removing on Wednesday, reapplying on Thursday, removing
Friday morning for gospel meeting on Friday night. Or cut pieces or layers of
hair but swoop it back at all meeting times. Workers sneaking affairs!! And
the list goes on: Blah, Blah, Blah, and Blah!!! It's called hypocrisy!!
Living lives of duplicity!

This is what Charles has to say about hypocrisy on page 99: <"You want to
mess up the minds of your children? Here's how-guaranteed! Rear them in a
legalistic, tight context of external religion, where performance is more
important than reality. Fake your faith. Sneak around and pretend your
spirituality. Train your children to do the same. Embrace a long list of do's
and don'ts publicly but hypocritically practice them privately............yet
never own up to the fact that it's hypocrisy. Act one way but live another.
And you can count on it - emotional and spiritual damage WILL
occur...................">

No doubt!!! Many of us suffer from the learned responses of 2x2 hypocrisy!
It's so enlightening to learn just HOW detrimental these responses were to
our psyche! It teaches dishonesty, lying and deceit! I just want any of you
lurking, confused, disillusioned, disappointed current members of the 2x2's
to know you don't have to live by the laws and ambiguous rules the workers
have set down! You can be FREE!!! You can be LIBERATED!!! You can be REAL!!
Conditioning, fear and guilt can be passe! The most wonderful lesson that I
am learning right now, is the lesson of Grace that was exemplified by our
Saviour!!

My love and care to each this Sunday morning,
Cheryle

When I was starting to distance myself from the fellowship a professing man I know, who has meeting in his home, told someone he was concerned about me because I was starting to wear makeup. Can you imagine how I felt in hearing this since I was well aware that he had been having an on going affair with another professing woman for years? The nerve!!!

The emphasis in appearances and outward show (and the rewards for the proper display of "appropriateness"); the legalistic control of the little details of people's lives and person, can (and I believe often DOES) come across as a message that "appearance is everything." It leads to tremendous hypocrisy which most even end up teaching to (and modeling for) their children... this is one of the reasons (possibly the STRONGEST reason?) for me really starting to ask questions and investigate. I was NOT interested in my children studying to be hypocrites!!

I also knew of several well known, higher ranking, professing folks whowouldn't dream of having a TV in their home, but would go away to a hotel forthe weekend and spend their time watching movies and sports games. Also theywould be more than happy to watch it at a sub-saints home who did have a TVwhenever the opportunity presented itself. Where does such logic comefrom??? Who are they fooling???

I was pretending to believe as I thought the others believed (that the "Truth" WAS the only true way!) Once I had the proof that that was not so, I was able to shed enough of the fear that had been instilled in me to make my exit. I could no longer live the lie that, by my life/appearance/attendance, I believed in the "Truth." I had to leave or live knowing that I was a hypocrite.

I sure do remember HAVING to go to meetings. My family always went.In our area the workers even had Spanish speaking meetings, and we would go to those. No one in my family understand a word, but there we were every Friday night!"

One of the rationalizations that I've used by the "friends" over TV or women wearing jeans (especially to town) is that "we wouldn't want to cause some weaker brother or sister to stumble." I wonder how many have "stumbled" over the deceitfulness??? How many children have grown up being deceitful and it has become a big influence in their adult lives? G. Walker, J. Carroll and others left a real legacy of deceit.

I had asked my [2x2] mother so many times why she condemned other churches...what on earth did she really KNOW about them to condemn?? She knew, of course, only what the workers told her...and, of course, that was enough to satisfy!!

It is amazing what you can forget in the Truth because everyone else would like you to!!

Two verses in the Bible just reminded me of the questions in my heart just before I left the fellowship.

John 12:42 & 43

"Nevertheless among the chief rulers also many believed on him; but because of the Pharisees they did not confess him, lest they should be put out of the synagogue: For they loved the praise of men more than the praise of God."

To make it personally relative, I'll paraphrase:

"Nevertheless among the workers and friends, I believed on him; but because of the workers and friends I did not confess him, lest I should be put out of the "Truth": For I loved the praise of men more than the praise of God."

In fact, I did not neglect to confess him to the workers and friends, who were not very receptive. In meeting, however, I found it difficult to give my testimony truthfully. I knew if I spoke what was in my heart I would be "put out of the 'synagogue'". I guess I really didn't love the praise of men more than the praise of God, because I just couldn't keep quiet. God's grace is not something we can hide under a bushel! I left to freely express the marvelous wonder of God's grace, and thus avoided being put out.

Several times our workers got permission to have gospel meetings in church buildings belonging to other church groups and at the same time we claimed that church buildings were wrong.

Really, a person can't "put on an act" year after year without cracking a bit! God gave us our personalities and it just isn't natural to try to be someone other than who He made us to be!! As I see it now I was really being a hypocrite when I wasn’t being myself.

"My mother who had a soft heart decided she was going to take me to see the Coronation of Queen Elizabeth at a movie theatre, Mom was also very English and I am sure wanted to see the movie as much for herself as me. She programmed me for hours on how important it was that I never, never tell anyone. I was in a dream world. I did not even know what a show was, much less ever hoped to be able to be going to one. We got up on a Saturday and took the street car to the far end of the City from where we lived. When we stood in the line up my mother put a newspaper up to her face and pretended she was shading herself from the sun. I was directed to do likewise. She kept glancing behind her to make sure we were not recognized."