The utterly amazing thing to me was that when I professed my service was one of duty and out of fear. Now the truth has set me free and I worship out of love, joy and thankfulness. I read the Bible because I love to learn of God's Word and His plan for me. Before I read for a testimony but not to seek out truth. 2/97

In 1992 a few weeks before we left the fellowship we went to _______convention and at testimony time we noticed the lack of joy and how depressed (or oppressed) most of them were as they testified. The overseer worker noticed it too and after testimony time he got up and scolded them all for not having joy and said, "If you don't have joy, try a little more sacrifice". I suddenly got that sort of "knot" in my stomach and I gave my wife the elbow and whispered, "Try worshipping God". I wanted to stand up and SHOUT it but I managed to stay in control. Later the same worker said in his sermon, "See all you people, where would you be today if WE hadn't come with the gospel".

There is a joy in our lives since we stopped going to meetings which we never had before as a result of knowing freedom in Christ. It is wonderful to be able to let God's love blossom in our lives as never before.

Contrary to what the workers have said about some of us EX-ones we are not evil people. Disappointed, hurt, saddened YES! But so many of us are also thrilled, contented and very much at peace now that we know about the Grace of God and all that Christ has done for us!

Someone mentioned a few days back how difficult it is to share their joy with family still in the 2x2s. I can totally relate. I am never even given a chance to share the pure joy that comes as a result of knowing who Jesus is and what He has done and is doing. I literally burst inside because I cannot share with my family my inner joy. Well, I guess not literally, but it drives me crazy. I have had many discussions with my family. Most of them were over a couple of month period about two years ago. Sometimes the issues come up, but never the opportunity to share joy. In fact, (I guess I am venting here) I hardly know what to say when I am around my family because they DO NOT want to here what I want to say. So I suffice with the weather etc....How boring; how absolutely irrelevant. Eternity is at stake! My sister (age 25) has been having some physical problems. I asked her if she has followed the biblical prescription of letting the elders pray for her...she said, "quit preaching to me." I told her that I was not preaching, and that Jesus loved her, I loved her, and she should pray and seek healing from the Great Physician.

How do you all find common ground to talk about anything relevant with 2x2 family. My whole life is centered around Jesus, God's Word that I have barely anything to say to them that is not interpreted as "preachy." My vocation is Christian school teaching; my wife's is the same. My son just started kindergarten at a Christian school. Our daughter goes to a Christian home daycare. Everything we could even remotely talk about has ties to the church or Christianity. So I usually have been forced by stares/looks into silence. How do you break out of that and share the awesome joy? Maybe itis just my personality type. I immediately want to talk about beliefs/truth/salvation, and I guess it just turns them off.

We have felt the SAME way with our family that still go to meeting. It gets trivial, trite, boring, etc. when the only "safe" subjects are the weather.we mentioned some things from the Bible & asked them if we could have a Bible study with them. They asked us WHY we wanted to do that, then seemed so puzzled when we said because this was so important to us now & we'd like to be able to sit down & discuss "what the Bible says" with them. Well we did have 1 study which left us both I guess feeling very frustrated. When words were put in & ideas which aren't in the Bible we rebelled big time. (such as this was written to the little church in the home & this was a worker described here--when there was NO scriptural substantiation for it).

Oh how I relate to what you are saying. When I first left the fellowship of the 2x2's I found it most heart breaking to know that the major part of my life was of no interest to my family. I thought "How will they ever know who I am?" I felt as though they could not possibly really know me, because all they ever saw or heard were the trivial issues of the day.

I have found over the past 16 years that it is important to find common ground somehow. Even if it isn't about spiritual things. This takes effort and commitment, but it is so important to continue to build family relationships. Don't let the divide get too wide. You never know, _____, the day may come when they may want to hear what you have to say. If you have maintained a close family tie, it will be very natural. Be encouraged.

This deception is very great. There is so much mind control. Our God is greater!! Pray! This battle is won in the spirit. The enemy is the father of lies. His grip has to be broken. It will be!!

Suggestions: Just make the most of every family gathering. Have fun. Play board games. Go on picnics. Enjoy "family" talk. Have dinner together. Talk about everything...(someday you'll be talking about Jesus!) Paul said he became all things for the sake of Christ. Love conquers all!!!

I marvel every day that God ever saw fit to deliver ME from that bondage, when so many better people than I are still blinded by the awful mind control.

There's not one day that goes by that I don't pray for them, as a group, and often reinforce it for certain individuals especially dear to me.

I BEGAN to see through it about two years ago, but it took a while, as you know, to see through ALL of it. My revelation of grace came (via Scripture) a year ago last March, and I haven't been the same since!

As others have expressed, I often find our visits and conversations with family and friends in the 2&2 group very frustrating. It has become a part of my normal and regular conversation to speak of my Lord and His word and to give Him the glory for His work in my life and the lives of others. Knowing 2&2's opinion of me and my life choices and such "showy church-ianity" of speaking out, I definitely feel inhibited to speak of such things with them. When my conversation with 2&2's DOES take that "turn," it is almost always met with silence.

Of course, I understand why... when I was growing up in the 2&2 group, I had a Christian cousin who was bold to speak out about her faith and her God... I considered her to be blinded and confused, I seldom (or never) responded to her comments, I felt disdain for her "outward show" of godliness, I did not think we could converse about these things because I believed her to be so misled. I prayed that she would come to know "the truth," but I didn't think we had any "common ground" for discussion unless she would come to "see the light." Now, I believe, that's just the way our family and friends who are still "in" view MY conversation.

So, as much as we can enjoy being with our family... as important as they are to us... as much as we love them... I am generally very conscience of an emptiness to our visits. It is important (but very HARD!) for me to remember that even when we don't "get into" any deep "religious" discussion, God can use our time together and our lives to speak to our family and friends.

I would like to continue to speak freely and not respond to those feelings of "inhibition," though. Not to offend... certainly not to "preach," but because I am not ashamed of my Lord and I am not seeking the approval of men. What is true of me at this time in my life is... I believe I am being more hypocritical and phony when I purposely silence my praise and delight in the Lord and my application of His word as "life happens," than I am being "showy" in speaking out.

So, when that important part of our lives is left out of ourconversation, I am extremely uncomfortable and soon feel ready to burst! Now, I try more and more to let my conversation be as "natural" with 2&2's as it is with others... anything less feels to me like denying my Saviour.

I had so little joy & again the only consolation we could cling to was that we were in the right way.

I just keep trying to put across to her the love and joy of Christ that I have in my own life...even that gets hard at times....just think of all the optimism one would have to display to counteract the negativism of this church!!!

To me, if Christ were not God, His death would mean very little for salvation.. It gives me my hope and my joy...not just emotions, but a solid ground to stand on unlike any I ever had in the 2x2's.

There is such a song in my heart for the One who died for such a sinner as I—He alone is worthy of all praise and adoration!

The wonderful grace of Jesus has set us free! The joy of the Lord fills our hearts.

One of my joys in leaving the 2x2s has been the free flow of information, in particular all the books regarding Christianity and all the sermon tapes that are available.

I look at my 2x2 mother and wonder what is going on, because there does not seem to be any joy in her service. She seems so bitter and angry, about everything! Isn't the gospel suppose to be the Good News?! Ah well, that is a major prayer concern.

The last years in the fellowship were near unbearable. Yet I doubt anyone suspicioned the turmoil going on within. Nor can they now fathom the relief and joy of being released from this bondage. I don't hesitate to tell those who ask about the 2x2s just what they are and how they started. At times some will recognize having had contact with the group. I am now a good hindrance to the spread of their lies. I am glad of some change for the better but just how much good is it if the acknowledgment of Jesus as our intercessor is not recognized? Even if not in expression of words but at least within the heart. 1/97

I did not leave BECAUSE of Irvine but learning the truth about his founding the "Way" and the fact that the workers have been lying all these years did give me proof of what I had suspected--that this could not be "from the beginning." Reading the Secret Sect gave me the courage to leave. Understanding what Christ has done for me and that God HAS a PLAN OF SALVATION brought me the peace and joy that every child of God's is entitled to.

It has only been the last few years that I have more fully understood the Gospel and can now rest in Christ with joy and peace.