To profess means to declare or admit openly or freely. It could be most anything: a belief, a decision, a conviction, etc. In the orthodox churches, a person might profess that he/she has come to believe that God has promised eternal life to those who put their trust in Jesus Christ. He or she now publicly professes acceptance of Jesus Christ as his personal savior and Lord of his life.

In my opinion, to profess in the 2x2 religion is, in most cases, something quite different. Often, in a "gospel meeting" one stands to his feet to profess (not to faith in Christ), but in order to be allowed to worship in the method which the sect has adopted. This consists mainly of obedience to the rules laid down by the hierarchy of the sect - a very subtle way of shifting lordship from Christ to men. Many of the members go through life without ever realizing that this is what has actually happened to them. They have, in fact, rejected the Lordship of Jesus Christ in favor of lordship to men. They no longer are responsible directly to God for their activities, and do sometimes go against their own conscience in order to obey their superiors (workers).

Questioning of any of the hierarchy decisions or interpretations of Scripture is deemed to be a "bad spirit" or "unwillingness" even though the "authorities" must know that all the questioner wants is a truthful answer. It would be a big task to enumerate all of the harmful effectsof a dictator type religion. In the 2x2s, it is done in a subtle and gradual way. It is especially harmful for children who have a family history of participation in the sect. They may never get to know Jesus as Lord of their lives, their redeemer, and the One who loves them so much that He died an agonizing death on the cross to give them salvation.

They may never have that bond between themselves and Jesus. The bond is with the men who rule over them; how to please them, how to keep out of trouble with them.

They are expected to accept the hierarchy judgment that all not in the 2x2 fellowship who claim to be believers in Christ are going to Hell. What a sham, and a shame! Little 12 and 14 year old children passing judgment on Christian friends and relatives. The terrible burden they are called upon to bear - Dad, Mom, grandma, grandpa, or other close relative who loves the Lord Jesus with all their hearts, destined for Hell! A pretty big burden for a child. In fact it can damage a relationship that is precious to both, and destroy something in the child. They may never again be the free, loving person they were until, hopefully, they come to understand that Jesus does not require them to believe this, nor does He approve of it. Only then can the relationship be restored. Jesus said, "No one comes to the Father, but by me." You'd better believe it! 1/97

Elizabeth Mansur

Bend, Oregon

For all the right reasons, albeit with much ignorance!! I believe that I first established my personal relationship with my Lord... was born again... passed from death to life! on the day that I decided I was going to profess. I had been feeling "the pull" for a number of weeks. (Howard Mooney must have known... he tested the meetings EXTREMELYregularly over those weeks!!?! I don't remember if anyone else professed then or not. ____ and his family were in those gospel meetings too... isn't that romantic!!?!... he and I had just turned 13.)

I really do think that "the pull" was God drawing me to Himself. I professed when I was nine years old. I remember distinctly the message that night at Buttonwillow Convention. Basically, it was you better stand to your feet or you will be going to hell. I stood to my feet. I remember people used to praise my testimonies and go on and on about a young person professing etc.... anyway, they were unable to see through all of the stuff I went through during high school while still taking part in the meetings and being EXPECTED to go into the work......

Professed because I was told, and believed, that there was no earthly founder and that there was perfect harmony within the "Truth". Boy, was I surprised when I found out the REAL TRUTH about the "Truth."

I stood to my feet in a convention at age fourteen because my mother told me to.

I professed for all the wrong reasons, with much ignorance! I stayed 'clueless' for over 10 years, while I bounced in and out of the Truth like a yo-yo. I'm just thankful that now I have the privilege of a personal relationship with Jesus!

The reason I professed was that I was taught that it was only professing people that had a hope of getting to Heaven. This fact, plus I felt pressured at the age of twelve to do something about my Eternal after life!! I cannot really remember if anyone actually said anything to me, but when meetings were tested I felt very uncomfortable. I think that most kids around that age feel, it is just expected of them. I professed again about a year before I was tossed aside!! That was because of an ultimatum my husband gave me. Profess or get a divorce. I was very mixed up at the time and thought that if I was divorced, which I had wanted to be for as long as I could remember, that I was going to hell for sure. If I did not profess I was too, so by professing again and staying married I guess I was trying to tread water. That did not last too long however because things were even worse than before so I baled out of both and spent the next ten years thinking the way was right but I COULD NOT LIVE IT and had no doubt where I was going if I died!

I remember thinking that 12 was probably the right age to profess. I professed at age 11. I remember my parents, other parents, and other people who were professing were crying all around me.

I professed because I knew it was something that I had to do, and hey the other kids in my meeting around my age had already professed too. I felt like it was the right thing to do, and I'd be better off doing it. Maybe a little safer from the wrath of God and going to hell.

The workers really did mention that instance where Jesus was 12 quite a bit. I too think those verses and the message had quite a bit to do with kids professing. It was like, hey Jesus did it by twelve, everyone else is doing it, you outta do it too. Good old peer pressure.

I professed because I was very interested in going to Heaven and I wanted to follow Jesus even though I didn't understand very much as I was only 11 at the time. And my dear mother believed that this "way" was the Only "way" and had taught us about that since we were little, even though she was unable to attend meetings. She knew nothing of the history and thought it was from the very beginning, and had a strong love for Jesus and a very simple faith. I think the "way" appealed to her because it was "old-fashioned" looking. She didn't have too much understanding of the scriptures at the time she professed and thought the workers going out 2 and 2 was what she read about. After going to one fellowship meeting though and discovering that you had to give your testimony she quit for about 20 years and in that time married my unprofessing Dad. She was so shy she just couldn't face speaking in meeting. When I was 11 and my 2 sisters and I professed she did start taking part in meetings but it was excruciatingly hard for her until she died. I think she would have been crushed to find out that the workers had deceived her. She really trusted them. I would have to say that I got my love for Jesus from her and not from the "way".

As a Born-and-Raised-In-It, I did not profess until the age of 16, which made me considerably abnormal, and I suffered greatly because of this. All of my friends had professed by the ages of 12 or 14, and one girl I knew as young as 9. Yes, NINE YEARS OLD!!! Yes, it was expected, and I remember hearing about Jesus at the age of 12 being about His Father's business. Young profession was very much encouraged.

I was not keen to profess this young. I was an avid reader and absorbed every piece of literature that came my way, and because of my extensive reading I had a lot wider perspective than a lot of my peers, and had especially read a lot on other "cults" and religions, including stories of ministers/preachers etc from other churches. The issue of belonging to the "only true church" worried me a great deal, and for this reason, plus getting into a rough crowd in highschool, I delayed my "choice". I don't actually remember much being said to me, but it was obvious to everyone that I had not yet submitted to the church, and I felt it acutely.

I remember going to "sleepovers" with my other professing friends, who would invariably talk about their professing position and taking part in Sunday morning, with careful glances at rebellious, outside me. They did not mean to offend, but it was well known that I was not quite one of the superior saints, not quite in the "in" professing crowd. When I finally professed I became a celebrity. I was hugged and cheered by many people, and my parents rang around all my relatives. This always seemed to me to be a great incentive to young people to make their "choice", they always get so much attention! I walked around on air for several days, feeling very self-righteous and special.

With it also came an open door for workers' criticism, too, apparently! I started being approached by the elder worker a fair bit, regarding giving my testimony, and telling me that I had to start praying in the meeting too. (I had big problems with this one, I would freeze up, forget what I wanted to say and forget to breathe when I spoke). The only reason I could "take part" in testimonies was that I wrote it all out beforehand! I still forgot to breathe, so always had to keep it really short. I was terrified of the workers, and would run in the other direction whenever I thought one wanted to speak to me. I hated professing, hating having to think up something to say on a Sunday, hating having to pray in the prescribed way. I always dreaded Sundays so much! Now, as a Christian it is my favourite day of the week!

All of my life I had been told that the Truth was the only true way that existed, so there was never really a question of whether or not I would profess, but merely when.

I wonder how many kids profess because of pressure from parents. I certainly did. But I made sure my own didn't, for that very reason. Consequently, I, too, never felt I had a relationship with God.

I professed as an "outsider" and I had no idea that they were really saying: "This WAY is the only way to heaven."

Let's face it folks, "them's" not the words the workers use! But we all know that is EXACTLY what they ARE saying!!

Let me tell you if they had used THOSE words I would have high-tailed it right out of those "Gospel Meetings!"

Yes, I CHOSE to become one of THOSE PEOPLE in THAT WAY but once I finally caught on to their belief (in themselves!) I was scared to leave. "Maybe one day God will reveal to me that this Way is the ONLY Way. Best I stick around just to be safe! After all these are wonderful people. Hospitable! Friendly! Can't do enough for me, etc. etc."

>>Well, this I have to disagree with in my case. Those WERE the exact words spoken to me.<<

Oh, how I WISH they HAD said those words me! They must have figured that you were "ready" for those words; that you had reached a point that if they said THOSE words to you you would still come to meeting!

>> That's what made me decide I better try this way. I wouldn't want to not be admitted in Heaven. <<

Hmmm, the fear tactics they use!

Also, there's another problem in "speaking out"... the less a person's testimonies sound like they "should," the less credibility that person comes to have in the group, over time.

To the friends HOW someone presents their point of view is JUST as important as WHAT that person says--keep the tone of voice down, show little or no reaction, etc. etc. Come to think of it the workers have this down to a "T."

There was a constant knot in my stomach from worry of having to speak and pray in meetings.

I've heard that some current 2x2s don't believe what the workers preach at all and yet they stay in the system! This beats me! But, each to his own!

A couple of years back she had a slight nervous breakdown. For several months she did not take part. NO ONE asked her if there was a problem--not even the workers!!!!!

I cruised along in professing life ....seeing many inconsistencies within"the truth", but not really worrying about them, because the old well worn saying - "The Way is perfect, but the people aren't" seemed to be sufficient explanation.

…it's 6.00 p.m….here …must go to the Wednesday night meeting!! Haven't even read the subject yet.!! Isn't it indicative of this way that you can go from Sunday to Sunday and not open your Bible.. and get up in the Sunday morning meeting and say a few nice words and no one would know! I wish we STUDIED the Bible.

He realizes now that he was tricked because he didn't examine the doctrines only the form of the group.

I went to convention the year I was 16 or 17, the girls were all told that their dresses were too short & that they had to get those hem-lines down. The place I went for comfort, for encouraging was just full of negative things. After you've been reprimanded like that, it's terribly hard to listen to what is said at the rest of the convention.

One by one all professing would say a short prayer. There were no set prayers and I would just repeat things that I had heard since childhood…..Prayers were not usually of thankfulness, but rather asking to be more "submissive to God’s will," "a better example unto others." And to be a "light unto others in this world of darkness."

I can't tell you how good it has been for me to read all the posts on this list. Every time I read one of the standard truth expressions, ie. fitting in, be more willing, the people aren't perfect but the way is, etc. etc. it makes me smile. I wasn't the only one who saw those things!

Sitting in meeting those many years, I was always uncomfortable with references to this being the "only" true church, or Christ’s "only" true Body, because I knew differently from my own experience."

Wherever we went I could fit in with the "friends" children because we were all like little robots trying to win parental and worker approval.

How often are people in meeting really listening to other people's testimonies? For myself, I was often preparing my own testimony (I didn't often give mine first) or thinking my own thoughts. Up until we started questioning things, I really didn't listen a lot. I often was just waiting to get my duty done....

Of course, I won't pretend that I didn't have those meetings (too often ) when I didn't manage to hear much of what was said because I was too busy trying to get my own testimony put together! But, I always HATED it when that was how a meeting went... I did NOT accept is as the norm. It was very important for me to try to be prepared ahead of time so I really could listen to the other testimonies. Yes, I also considered the giving of testimonies a "chore"... and a very difficult one for me, at that, but... it was also very important and very meaningful for me.

What's amazing to me now is that made it a "wonderful" meeting when I was able to "soak" all the other testimonies up! Yah... there were also times for me when I found something "yawn worthy!" (Probably most often when it was of the variety of the legalistic and the outward emphasis.) But, for the most part, listening and sharing with others thoughts was important, encouraging... special. (?) I guess, that's all I knew about "Bible study" at the time, so it seemed "right."

Mum and Dad bought New International Version Bibles years and years ago, and also bought copies for us children, since they too thought they were so much clearer and easier to read. So I have had a NIV since I was about 12. But note that Mum and Dad have only used their NIVs for private reading. They still use the Old King James officially in meetings/conventions/professing company!!. Mum has just decided to try using the NIV in meetings, and mostly because she can now see the foolishness of the unwritten rule to only use OKJ. 1/97

We sang the song I Cannot Now Go Back so don't think it was only for workers but seems it was mainly at convention. As for vows, I always thought of the song "I've vowed to be true to the Savior". To me it was the vow we made when we professed--however I now feel it took on more of a connotation of being true to the system. The two things were so closely entwined it was difficult to find separation. I think for me the separation came when I left meeting, the close association with friends, family, etc. & trusted GOD & only Him to be everything to me. As I've said on this forum before the hymn "My service is unto Thee" where it says not unto men I labor etc. started really bugging me. I realized that many of the things we did were because if we didn't others would see, yet I didn't feel God being critical. 1/97

I've seen the pressure exerted within the group when you 'come of age' (about 12) to profess. Sometimes this is rather subtle, other times very high-pressure techniques are used--on kids!! Our oldest daughter is now 17 but when she was 10 the two sister workers in the area started applying the heat to her. They were having gospel mtgs. & it was convention prep time so they were closing in the area. The older sister worker called & talked to our daughter to tell her that they were testing the meeting that evening & encouraging her to make a commitment. She didn't cave in to the pressure then, but did profess at convention a few weeks later. She had received a lot of attention from these sister workers prior to that & it was great to be treated special by the workers. The trouble comes when its like you said, 'your spirit wasn't ready nor was it nurtured'. It was the same for our daughter. She professed for all the wrong reasons. I wish the workers realized or would acknowledge how many young lives they have messed up through their intervention of this sort! A few years down the road, these kids realize they've been used & that professing wasn't really their idea at all. Then comes guilt because their heart isn't in it, guilt that if they quit professing their parents will feel bad, ashamed, etc. Oftentimes the kids just want to get as far away from the 2x2 lifestyle that they can & they get involved with extreme lifestyles that really harm them. I'm thankful that didn't happen to our daughter, but I can't begin to tell you how many in my own family that have gone from professing & being so prim & proper while in the group, to breaking the law, sex, drugs etc. It is so sad & heartbreaking. I've noticed that there isn't self-discipline but group rules that control their lives. i.e. they have the 2x2 rules & live extremely conservative lifestyles or they have absolutely no rules & live with nothing to govern them. Oftentimes they know they are drowning with that lifestyle, so re-profess & get the extreme control again. The problem is that it isn't an inner change or a 'heart' change and they just jump from one ditch to another!! 2/97

In my opinion, any 2x2's who do have a "vital, heart-opening, life-renewing relationship with God" or a "heart-centered relationship with Jesus" have such a relationship in spite of, not because of, the 2x2 ministry.

As a child, I was taught first and foremost not about Jesus or God, but about the "New Testament Church" and the "Workers" and the "True Way." Both as a member, and as an ex-member of the 2x2's, the focus has always been on my relationship with the 2x2 Church -- not with God. Not only did I have no assistance from my family, friends, and the "workers" in finding God, my search was opposed in a thousand ways, both great and small. Searching was not considered beneficial, for after all, the only thing I needed to do was accept what I was lucky enough to have been born into. 12/96

THE TWO BY TWO SUNDAY A deathly silence fills the room, naught but the pages turn, As one by one they file in, their faces long and stern. Mabel always takes the couch, she says the chairs to hard. We think she plops down over there to stare into the yard. When David comes, his pants like floods, he sits down on the chair; The hem goes half way up his leg, you just can't help but stare. And Mary always has to stop to go the bathroom first; Doris roots for half an hour sorting through her purse. The Oztuks come with all the kids; from teen to tiny baby. With two seats extra in the room, could mean the workers maybe. Sure enough, it's Dan and Ted, they're staying here I guess, Since Donna's husband passed away, their homes are now one less. "Does someone have a hymn to start," says Dan in that deep voice. Of course Eileen will yell one out, give no one else a choice. "Oh for a closer walk," she'll choose, we know the words by heart, Then Dan, who's not the singing type, says, "someone else can start." After singing, everyone will bow their heads in prayer. When no one's looking Ruthie's way, she starts to comb her hair. They all have prayed but Ralphie now, he must have fell asleep. His wife gives him the elbow and he almost takes a leap. Just as we start to sing again, this time it's Laura's choice, The back door hinges start to creak; she always late, that Joyce. We sing the hymn that Laura chose, then much to our surprise, Our chronic late "friend" starts to pray, we can't believe our eyes. David, trying to be a help, tells her we're all done praying. Joyce stops short and stares at him, she can't hear what he's saying. It's testimony time of course, we each must have a part, Though some speak only from the mouth, we hear too, from the heart. Now Doris pulls a funny one, we nearly laugh out loud; The workers' looks across the room don't make us feel to proud. Now all have spoke, the workers too, we share the bread and wine. Of course those can not have a part who cast pearls before the swine. We sing another hymn and then the meeting is complete, We sit around and talk about the crop and all that heat. Mabel gets invited to the Oztuks house for lunch; They get together often and gossip while they munch. We just go home alone today for sandwiches and soup, Then write letters to the workers, way off in Quadeloupe. Fifty two times in the year, every Sunday morn, The Two by two's meet in the home, the worldly church they scorn. So this concludes the weekly scene of Sunday meeting here, Week after week, month after month, now in it's hundredth year. Scott December 24, 1997