One of the things that hit home to me in talking with women who had been sexually abused either by a male family member or a male worker is that THEY HAD NO IDEA IT HAD EVER HAPPENED TO ANY OTHER FEMALE PROFESSING GIRL/LADY OTHER THAN THEM!!! And rest assured these cases are not all from recent days! Women back 40, 50 and 60 years ago were being abused in the "Truth."

This is a deplorable situation. Can you imagine a young girl’s/woman’s agony? Frankly, I CANNOT! I do, however, know that healing can come from being able to talk about what happened and from being able to ACKNOWLEDGE what happened, etc. etc.

I am NOT advocating women step forward to do that here. Not at all. It is merely my intention to state that sexual abuse in the 2x2 fellowship DID/DOES exist and that if you, as a woman, thought it ONLY happened to YOU, you are/were mistaken. Take whatever comfort you can in knowing that YOU are NOT the one to be blamed and know that you WERE violated. Also, take comfort in knowing that your perpetrator SHOULD have come before the courts and should have been dealt with! 3/97

The subject of sexual abuse in the ‘truth’ interests me a great deal. I am a recovering third generation ‘truther’- and I know from personal and intimate experience that there was extensive sexual abuse in our family. Being in the ‘truth’ I instinctively ‘knew’ as a child that I was to blame - for being a victim - and that I was full of sin and that what was happening was wrong. There was no one that I felt I could talk to about what was happening to me, my brothers and my sister. I knew of no way out of this trap. I didn’t have the language to express it - especially at first when I was so young. It is difficult to discuss the topic of sexual abuse as one does not want to hurt family members by disclosures - so one keeps quiet. I was abused for many years - ages 4 through 13 years. I told first at age 4 - and I was laughed at and scorned for bringing up the topic - and I brought it up in conversation - typical for a 4 year old - and I learned not to discuss that type of thing again. As I grew older and was able to study the dynamics and implications of sexual abuse, I understood more and more about what happened to me. I feel that my brothers and sisters and I were all victims of ‘the system - i.e. the truth’ - a closed system in which women and children bear the brunt of the oppression. Women and children are ‘third class citizens’ in the truth - in the sense that they are the ones who suffer the most by the rules, written and unwritten, that are put forth by the workers and elders. They are the ones whose voices are not heard - this is typical of cults and other closed systems. This abuse has affected our family for years. The cover-up has been extensive. I am now a woman in my middle adult years - and I can remember these things from age 4 years on - and how it felt - and what I thought - the guilt, the shame, etc. As a young person, feeling guilty for what happened to me - I realized I could never be good enough to be in the truth - because this was obviously my fault. Later, I realized how the system of the ‘truth’ perpetuated what happened to me - and that this had also probably happened to others. I can honestly say that the abuse has affected me at all stages of my life. It is something that is always there and continually has an effect on the way I think about myself, my relationships to others, how I see myself as a parent, a person. The dynamics of this abuse are overwhelming. I wonder what my family - my relationships would have been like without its presence.

I also know of situations where workers/elders who have had ‘problems’ with their sexuality - and the situations are quite ‘hush-hush’. There is more concern about it being covered up and making sure that it is not known to the general population (what would people think?) than there is concern that the victim be afforded peace of mind and justice or that the perpetrator be brought to justice and afforded some help. 3/97

My mom was sexually abused as a child by her father, my grandfather. Mom believes that her mother knew about it, but didn’t do anything about it, other than the worst she could do, she blamed my mom. Grandma treated my mom very bad all her life. My grandfather was an elder, had meeting in their home for years, and was one that others thought so well of. Mom never told anyone all those years (except my father). She knew that if she did tell someone at the time it happened that no one would believe her. After Grandpa died she finally told us.

My childhood was very much affected because of the abuse my Mom suffered. She treated us with the same feelings she felt in her, we experienced nothing but bitter resentment and anger most everyday. The bitter, hatred feelings that my Mom had for my Grandpa were taken out on us kids, not on purpose, but for the reason that one just doesn’t rid themselves of their feelings, they are with you forever. They are like scars. So, we were a victim of a victim.

Knowing this now I have forgiven my Mom for those times. Grandpa never was caught or made to feel ashamed, never lost his privileges in the meetings. My Mom had a terrible time in facing him, she was the one to feel the shame.

My great-uncle abused his two daughters. My great-aunt (my grandpa’s sister) didn’t know about it until years later, after her husband was gone. The two daughters were really messed up as a result. Have had terrible relationships, each married about four to six times. The girls don’t profess, but their father who abused them, was very well thought of, also an elder, with a meeting in his home. Again, he was the abuser; but from the eyes of the ones at meeting, and because the girls were considered wild, and didn’t profess, they were shunned. No one knew why their lives were so messed up until years later. They weren’t good mothers, or really not even considered mothers, to their own children. 3/97

Damage is individually ascertained, and there is no way to measure it accurately—unless you count the mental breakdowns, the suicides, and therapy and counseling needed by victims of incest and sexual molestation due to workers, elders and friends. 4/97

There was a bit of a cover-up in ______ about three years ago on a sexual abuse case. Two of the brother workers were involved, as well as some other friends. I probably never would have heard about it, except that it concerned relatives of mine. Nothing is really said, and it is hoped that it will blow over. 4/97

Child molestation and sexual abuse of children are criminal matters! So my experience would indicate that all cases should be reported and placed in a database. Every effort should be made to verify the charges before any information is disseminated, then the proper authorities need to be notified, as well as the overseer of the field. After which, the friends that may be exposed should be notified. If they choose to ignore the warnings, then our responsibility has been fulfilled. 5/97

It seems to me that every time (so far) I talk to an ex-member of the fellowship, they all have a knowledge of sexual abuse, homosexual relations between workers, paedophilia or severe domestic violence. This seems to me to be much more than an occasional occurrence, it seems abnormally high. And in every case the victim is further victimised, and the perpetrator is protected. An ex-member said to me recently "The women and children are always the ones who continue to suffer, those the fellowship should be protecting." This ex-member had been severely abused by a spouse, yet the spouse was protected and this ex-member victimised and outcast for leaving the abusive spouse.

I received a letter this week from another ex-member who grew up in the fellowship and returned for a few years when he was older. I rang him to talk about his history, and brought him up to date on the happenings on the internet. He has not attended meetings for some years, but still feels intrigued by this group that dominated so much of his life. We got on to the sexual misconduct topic - and although he stated he was not prepared to go into detail, told me that some of his closest friends had been involved. One incident was that of a close friend who became a worker - and the older worker partner wanted homosexual relations. He also mentioned abuse by workers of children in the homes of the friends. In the incidences he knew of, the worker was moved, and nothing ever said or dealt with.

I think we all need to realise that sexual misconduct in the two-by-twos are NOT isolated incidences here and there. It seems to be a major, unchecked disease running riot and destroying the lives of many young ones. This ministry has been protected for far too long. I really wonder what the real extent of this is? I also wonder how many more victims are out there who left the fellowship and never told anyone? Is there anyway of ever finding some of these people and hearing their stories?

Something my husband said to me last night really stuck with me - he said "If we hear about adultery or something similar in one of our congregations we can deal with it. We know these people are human too, and we can do something about it, remove them from office and discipline them. But they (the friends) can't. It would be like facing the downfall of a deity, they have placed them (the workers) so high." 5/97

Tell me!! If a worker gets married (i.e. does the honorable/biblical thing) he/she is thrown out of the work, if he commits adultery, fornication, child molestation, homosexuality, he is allowed to stay in. Since when is getting married a sin? Who made these laws anyway? Man of course!! I would sooner follow the Bible. Paul says that 'marriage is honourable in all..'(Heb14v3) and 'to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife and let every woman have her own husband' (1Cor 7v2). Solomon, the wisest man on earth, or so I am led to believe, said "Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing' (Prov 18v22). Good advise from a man who knew the temptations of man, perhaps the workers had better get back to the Bible and take some lessons from there. Peter had a wife (Matt 8v14) or was he one of those false prophets that the workers talk about? Whose Bible are the workers reading, certainly not the one that I read?

One reason I have heard to minimise the offending of workers is that they are human. That is no reason to brush it aside and not make them stand accountable. All 'men' are human but they are also accountable. Well, I am not telling you all anything new, but I had to have my say.

In my country we have a book published that lists all convicted pedophiles. The trouble is that the workers try to do everything to stop the victim from going to the police and their name would probably never reach such a list, but we hope that will change.

Confessing a mans sin in front of the congregation may be a deterrent but in most cases that is not enough, (nor is jail) they need help, specialsed help. They will just try harder not to get caught next time. They can't stop on their own, but as Joan said it warns people to keep their children and wives away from them. We had a man confess his offending in front of the church while at the same time he was abusing the kids in his church - can serve as a smoke screen. The church!! - Yes: it happens in 'worldly churches', the difference is that we are not afraid to admit it, we don't lie, cover up or minimise the offense (hopefully) but it has taken a long time to get to that stage, so there is hope for the meetings yet. Keep praying 5/97

I have been struck by the plethora of solutions offered on the list for sexual misconduct. Not that the subject should be ignored, and it is certainly reprehensible. However, even society in general hardly knows where to draw the line. In short, "just call the cops" is not a bad approach. Or call the local hotline for domestic abuse, your doctor, 911, emergency room, etc. The systems, though imperfect, are in place to deal with this, and they are a darn site more effective than what the 2x2 system has accomplished so far. Just don't sweep it under the rug!

As for the difficulty, we see cover-up of child molestation by 2x2 workers on one extreme, and we see ruin of an apparently good Air Force officer's career because of completely consensual, off duty, private adult sex (regardless of the varying readers' feelings about the propriety of that) on the other hand.

This is an extraordinarily difficult topic to deal with at best in all it's social, cultural and religious complexity, and with probably the most powerful instincts and emotions of any aspect of human life. Therefore, within the 2x2 system, it should be no surprise that workers, with absolutely no training in the subject, often with no formal education, placement on a pedestal in spite of their limitations, and a mindset that precludes direct open dealing with almost any sensitive subject, will deal with this very poorly. So take it out of their hands. Please. If they appreciated the magnitude and complexity of this kind of problem, they would insist that others, more qualified, deal with it. I don't recall any of them offering to do an appendectomy, and that is far simpler than this.

As society has developed quite a lot of systems, legal, educational, medical, psychological, to deal with these things, it seems simple enough to insist, as one recent post indicated, that any allegation be dealt with by the social institutions already in place designed for it. Some people of high standing in the 2x2 way will wind up in the slammer. Some will be meted out other forms of punishment or treatment. That's what those institutions are for.

Let them work. (Yes, I appreciate the weaknesses of the legal system, and I do not hold it in particular high regard, but, as they say, that's another story.) It is equally important, given the tremendous potential for harm either way, that innocence be protected on both sides. We have all seen allegations of this sort of thing misused for other ends. Another reason to let the complex checks and balances of an imperfect but attempting-to-cope social system work as best they can.

I have no answers as to the issue of what should be done within the 2x2 system vis-à-vis these problems. When this system of worship develops a coherent core doctrine by which it defines itself and clarifies what makes it unique, maybe that can be dealt with. Otherwise it will be higgledy piggledy, sometimes well handled, most of the time fumbled. Probably the best they can do is to see that society handles the problem and then attempt to help each individual deal with the results.

Is it another example of the errancy of this system that they evolve, without biblical basis, a lifestyle that demands remarkable denial of many (not just sexual) basic human drives, then give absolutely no training or help in coping with the consequences? Society has evolved, through often very painful and inhumane trial and error, at least moderately successful systems for coping with our human nature (eg: Marriage, custom, laws, taboos, etc. with a great variety of implementation across various cultures.) There is nothing wrong with utilizing these institutions, rather than denying what we are, then trying to deal de nova with the consequences.

Is not the fact that 2x2s deny the appropriateness of society's institutions for proper social conduct another mark of their misconstruing of Christ's message? Fortunately, most 2x2ers are pretty well enculturated, and thankfully it appears that this reliance on unqualified workers for solutions is waning. Hopefully, this discussion will bolster the courage of those still active in the 2x2 system to deal with this problem straight up whenever they encounter it. Then we can get beyond what is really a (serious) social and legal problem, and see what else is on the minds of folks as to the validity of the 2x2 system as a Christian way of worship. 5/97

Dear ___ _____, and All

Thanks for your letter, however there are a couple of points that you did NOT cover, You Wrote: "As for the difficulty, we see cover-up of child molestation by 2x2 workers on one extreme, and we see ruin of an apparently good Air Force officer's career because of completely consensual, off duty, private adult sex (regardless of the varying readers' feelings about the propriety of that) on the other hand. As reprehensible as This officers conduct is, it is entirely another matter." 1.) He never presented himself as a celibate minister of God! 2.) He never represented himself as a eunuch. 3.) He never represented himself to be in some special position between his victim and God. 4.) His victim WAS NOT a 9-14 year old child! 5.) He never represented himself to have been CALLED OF GOD to bring the only way of salvation to the victim and / or their family !

These issues take the matter of vile criminal child molestation to the very limit of one's imagination. To represent one's self as God's representative makes this the most vile and reprehensible of any crime capable of mankind ! And then to hide and cover it up. The very perfection of deception !!! Amazing, absolutely Amazing !!

I like the Idea of _____, let them ware a sandwich sign after they get out of jail. Perhaps the idea of a eunuch is not so bad either!

So very Glad for his freedom from deception , _____. 5/97

I once wrote to a worker about his supposed sexual misconduct. No physical action was ever reported to have happened. Still, his desire for and attraction to the younger women (he'd be mid 40's now) is well known by many (elders, workers, and really hearty saints). He is not welcome in at least one home of some very hearty saints.

My letter to him concerned incidents in the Bible of sins (that either happened or were refereed to) and what was the remedy. His response to me was different. He made reference to the story of the woman taken in adultery in John. His interpretation of that as applied to my letter to him - "Jesus never allowed anyone to get any credit for helping another out of their sin." My initial reaction was "What?!" I have not communicated with him since then.

I have heard a few stories of sexual misconduct in the nameless church. Personally, I have had no experience in witnessing any. Just seems this mostly involves responsibility and accountability. These two things have often been of little concern among some close knit groups and is ever increasing in the public.

What to do? There are many opinions on this. Probably none will ever be accepted by a great majority nor will any be able to greatly reduce the occurrence of the crimes/sins. I have no solution. Just seems that we have to deal with those things that rub up against our own little world (everyday life and living).

Getting a close knit group to police itself - whether lawyers, politicians, a ministry, or whatever - is not a solution. Sure, there are a few who will point the finger and try to make things right, but this is short lived and usually results in the ousting of the "rebel/trouble maker".

In dealing with the nameless church there is indeed the problem of the workers in general being on a pedestal and almost equal to deity. This makes stories about them easily thought to be fiction. Basically, one should go to the courts with any claim. I suppose this would yield little if any help. Yet, we do feel we must do something. The only other alternatives are to leave it to those "who have the rule over you" or to go public in and out of the church.

Well, I have not really said anything new here. Guess what I really want to say is that these events (crimes/sins of misconduct and the crimes/sins of inaction) in the nameless church will go on as long as the ministry continues as it is. I see no change in the ministry coming in my day.Love, ______

Hello ____,

The point of my examples maybe did not come across as clearly as I had intended. On the one hand we use the label "sexual misconduct" for the extremely reprehensible crime of child molestation, the punishment for which, many feel should be the maximum society can dish out. On the other hand, we use the same label for something as commonplace and nebulous as adult consensual, private sex. [As many have determined already, the officer I was referring to was a woman.] These are legal matters. Let the law do its work. Covering it up or failing to report it is a crime too. Obstruction of justice. The head worker who covers it up, moves an offending worker to another field, and fails to report it could well, and probably should land in the pokey too. If you know about a case, and you know about the cover-up, simply report both the crime and the cover-up too.

Best regard, ______ 5/97

First, I'll state that I appreciate ____’s thoughts... his solutions certainly SEEM good and logical... but can they be carried out within the 2x2 group??

It has been my observation that the PRIMARY coveted mark of a worthy leader/elder/convention owner in the 2x2 group is the ability to keep "delicate matters" quiet.

Therefore, for some, that has become their entire mindset in life... almost the measure of their worthiness for heaven. The higher within the organization they get (i.e. convention owner; overseer's refuge, etc, etc.) the more things they become aware of, the more hiding they have to do, and the more deeply ingrained this mindset and lifestyle becomes. In my opinion, _____ rightly described the "mindset that precludes direct open dealing with almost any sensitive subject."

Oh, they believe they do this for such valid and biblical reasons... not to gossip, not to speak ill of the "Lord's anointed", not to cause the weaker brethren to stumble, etc, etc. They have been given such wonderful "privileges" in the fellowship, but with the privileges come "insider knowledge" and with such knowledge comes the responsibility to prove themselves worthy of such a position... they MUST NOT be party to the spreading of rumors or problems.

____ asks, "Is not the fact that 2x2s deny the appropriateness of society's institutions for proper social conduct another mark of their misconstruing of Christ's message?" I wonder if it's not so much a denial of society's institutions, as it is just another product of the lifestyle of keeping quiet. (?)

Therefore, ____'s suggestion to "take it [the handling of sexual misconduct] out of their hands" would be difficult to carry out... often the only people who know the details believe they are doing the right thing (keeping their responsibility before God) to deal with this VERY "sensitive subject" quietly (or to allow others to deal with it while they do what they can to guard the entire matter.)

____ said, "Some people of high standing in the 2x2 way will wind up in the slammer." It is interesting, though, that under such a mindset/lifestyle it IS actually possible for months of court proceedings to go on and someone to "end up in the slammer" while the whole thing is kept hidden from most of the friends (and even many of the workers?)... even if some people are asking questions about why "so-&-so" is "resting." (And, who would EVER think to run to the courthouses looking for court records???)

IMO and experience, even questioning the "resting" status of a worker is discouraged. After all, if you NEEDED to know you would know. A good example of this is an experience my sister once had: She was concerned about a particular worker who was suddenly resting, but we had not been told anything about his health or anything. When she asked an elder/deacon's wife about this worker, the reply she got was, "I choose not to gossip about those things." So what WE viewed as concern for a respected loved one, others chose to view as mere GOSSIP. And to ask questions is to be quickly "put in your place." Such a response is so unexpected and so unbelievable, even my sis who is very good at thinking on her feet and coming up with a quick and appropriate response was left speechless!

____ mentioned the problem of the workers receiving "absolutely no training in the subject" [of dealing with the occurrences of sexual misconduct] and also said "Probably the best they can do is to see that society handles the problem and then attempt to help each individual deal with the results." The problem here is when such problems occur, one of the "solutions" is to drop the "offender" like a hot potato (sometimes, amazingly, even leaving the "hot potato" thinking he has really been most supportively cared for!?) This is done to quickly and quietly get rid of the problem.

Then, the offender faces no repercussions from society and gets no help either from society OR the group. Of course, their hope in keeping so quiet is that the problem will just "go away." And if it does... if the charges, if any, are dropped or someone is convinced it would not be "in the best interests" (???) to make charges, what's to keep the possible offender from being able to slip right back into the work... with those "in the know" satisfied that all was kept quiet and no "rumors" were spread around unnecessarily, while the friends in the field are totally unsuspecting and are given no warning?? (Sadly, these people, if they really thought about the choices they were making, I think would be VERY much opposed to and upset by the victimization of innocent people... but, it seems they are unable to see the real issue, their focus is so much on keeping this sensitive subject quiet!??)

Even one who "ends up in the slammer" can find himself so isolated from the group (in an effort to keep these "sensitive subjects" quiet) that there is no possibility of help from those in the group. I don't know all the details, but wasn't that how Fern Strouse LOST her place of responsibility in the group... by trying to help "victims" in the 2x2 group? (which can be the falsely accused as well as the abused). After all, seeking to offer help may draw unwelcome attention to the situation.

Another problem in the lack of training leaves the young workers vulnerable (and a victim of the failures of the system?). Not only are our pastors trained in this area, but when WE help out with our church's weekly Sunday school classes, or even the 5-day summer Vacation Bible School, we also are given information in how to behave and what NOT to do in order to avoid leaving ourselves vulnerable to possible sexual abuse charges. Teachers, pastors--in fact, ANYONE in our society in the position of working closely with minors--are given this kind of information... except the workers... they get NOTHING! This leaves them open to the possibility of getting in "compromising situations" in all innocence and ignorance of the potential problems.

A recognition of proper behavior could protect workers in 2 ways: 1) It could keep them clear of being charged with something they are innocent of; and 2) It could keep them out of situations where they (especially in their enforced celibacy) might be tempted to do the wrong thing.

____ also mentions the lifestyle in the system which "without biblical basis... demands remarkable denial of many (not just sexual) basic human drives". Wow! Is this ever true!! When such an unfortunate situation arises, I have seen the "training" offered to others to avoid falling into the same trap to be a warning not to get too close to any of the families in their field and, basically I think, to avoid so much touch as a pat on the shoulder. This creates not only physical, but also emotional and social withdrawal... what a lonely, isolated, BARREN life!!... they have to forsake their family, they change companions every year and they have to guard themselves from making any real friends amongst the "friends"!!!

Another young worker once spoke to us about this matter of being told not to "get too close to the friends in their field"... it was really part of (maybe about the ONLY???) training the workers in our state were receiving, so I know this is not just happening in isolated cases. No wonder the workers enjoy preps and convention and special meeting rounds so much... and no wonder unhealthy relationships can happen in that environment!!! I'm NOT attempting to make excuses for anyone. The guilty MUST accept responsibility for the wrong they have done... but, I think the sad truth of the matter is that, unfortunately, it's not always only the victims of the abuse who are victims of some sort in all this!! Are there un-Christian doctrines and beliefs in the group? Do we have a responsibility to speak out against them? How can anyone say NO!! (But, as others have said, I don't have any solutions to offer.. . just these observations of the difficulties!?) ______ 5/97

• This is an outside link to another web site which outlines specific cases of sexual abuse by a worker.